By Ashley N. Sybesma, Esq.

When a friend asked me to write this article about my quality of life, a huge factor in my recent decision to move to Key West, all I could think about was the passion for life that my grandmother instilled me as a young child and how her influence has permeated in my life in the most positive way possible. She constantly encouraged the little girl who was born in landlocked Indiana of fulfilling her dream of being close to the ocean. I’m pretty sure at some point I just wanted to be a mermaid.

While I grew up in Indianapolis, I was fortunate to be able to spend parts of my summers in Northern Michigan on Walloon Lake at my grandparents’ cottage they bought after honeymooning on Walloon. During my summers on Walloon, my grandmother taught me a myriad of things in our years together and provided memories that I am lucky to have.

One of my grandma’s favorite activities was canoeing on the lake and I loved when she asked me to join her. On one of those early evening paddles up and down the shores of Walloon, in her special way of expanding my mind (or perhaps trying to dissuade me from becoming a mermaid) she told me all about Ernest Hemingway and that he, just like me, had spent his childhood summers on Walloon. Although I never desired to be an author like Hemingway, his work, life of adventure, and wanderlust inspired me. Years later when I studied abroad in Paris, my grandma flew over with me to help me find an apartment and get settled in for the semester. While walking through the neighborhood of Saint-Germain-des-Prés, she told me that it was a must to order a chocolat chaud at Les Deux Magots. As we sipped on that sinful hot chocolate it was difficult to not reflect on yet again finding myself in another location beloved by Hemmingway, and my grandma told the history of Hemingway’s time in the café.

While living in Paris, I never thought I would be a lawyer, let alone a litigator, but after graduating from college and spending more time abroad I came back stateside. Shortly after returning I started law school at the University of Miami School of Law. My dream of being a mermaid had faded at that point and the focus was to be able to get a degree that would allow me the flexibility and marketability to work anywhere in the world. I ended up working as a litigator and was fortunate to meet some of my best friends in law school.

Just over two years ago, we found out that my grandma’s melanoma had returned and was metastatic. It was heartbreaking. It was incredibly difficult to be so far away from my family—who without fail have supported my independent streak and desire, at the time, to be living in
Miami. But my grandmother’s illness really highlighted how far away they were. As the weeks went by, her condition deteriorated and I spent a good amount of time traveling back and forth to Indianapolis to be with her and the rest of my family as much as possible. In early December 2013, my grandmother passed away in hospice surrounded by her family. I was crushed; my soulmate had died and I was doing the best to be my mother’s rock and help support her in the difficult time.

The next year was a year of “firsts” without her and the pain just felt magnified. I knew I needed a change and lots of ideas swirled through my head. There wasn’t much I wouldn’t have given to just have 15-minutes with my grandma to talk things through with her: what should I do with my life? Where should I go? Nothing definitive ever surfaced as a distinct goal which just made me flounder a bit personally. Professionally, I was very content; working for a good firm and serving on Young Lawyers Division Board of Governors gave me a genuine happiness professionally. But personally, something still felt like it was lacking.

Sometime the universe works in mysterious ways and few weeks after the start of this year, I was approached by two of my closest friends, who were living quite happily and running a law firm with great success, who asked me to join them at their firm. I had a lot of hesitations and factors to consider including that I was quite content at my current firm and that my dad had just moved from Shanghai, China–for the first time since graduating high school he lived in the same city as me, a short mile down the road. As I began to consider the opportunity and the next adventure of my life, I reflected on my grandma. And Hemingway. No doubt that Hemingway and I share a love for some amazing locations in this world. I thought, if Hemingway could find some happiness in Key West then surely so could I. I quickly packed up the last nearly 13 years of my life in Miami, tearfully said goodbye to friends and co-workers, and decided to head south for a slower pace.

I didn’t quite become a mermaid as I dreamed of so long ago, but living in a tropical island that moves on island time, working with some of my best friends, and riding a bike to the office most days is still pretty amazing. I ride by the Hemingway house on most days here in Key West and every time I look towards the brick wall surrounding the house, I smile and think of my grandma. I’ve found my happy place here in the Conch Republic and have found a passion for lawyering while maintaining a life that fulfills me.

Ashley N. Sybesma, Esq.
Smith Oropeza Hawks
Key West, Florida

The Florida Bar Young Lawyers Division Health and Wellness Month 2015